12 February 2011

Two-Hour Delay Musings

There is a joke amongst my circle of friends: If there is a hint of bad weather in the general area of southwestern Pennsylvania, and I mean within a 50 mile radius of Greene County, there is a 90% chance I won't be teaching a full day of school. That statement is entirely true considering we have had at least one two-hour delay per week since around Christmas vacation. The less-than-agreeable weather, and the fact that I had a personal day scheduled for Monday (day after the Steelers Super Bowl XLV loss, with the addition of having to take a continuing education class on Wednesday, added up to me not teaching a full day of school this past week.

And President Obama says America's children are behind other countries in science and math.

Anyways, with all that time off, I had a lot of time to think. Here are a few of those thoughts...

~ I watched the Super Bowl at a friends' apartment, and despite the loss, I did come up with this conclusion: Fans from the city of Pittsburgh are quite possibly the worst in professional sports. Case in point: I had to watch the Super Bowl sitting next to one of the most annoying women in the history of vagina. Firstly, she didn't get why Deion Sanders got to flip the coin for the pre-game coin toss. After explaining to her that Sanders won a Super Bowl with the Dallas Cowboys, she then called him a faggot. Secondly, she screamed after every play, sometimes with ghetto tones (this woman is milk white), and sometimes saying phrases such as "There ya' go, baby" and "That's how we do 5-1." I had to sit next to her the entire game. By the way, everyone is welcome that I took that bullet for them on Sunday. Thirdly, she'd throw out some witty chatter to try to be part of the group, laugh at her joke, then look around to see if anyone heard and/or laughed back. She then would repeat it a second time to make sure it wasn't lost on deaf ears. I really don't like when people do that. Fourthly, she argued with her brother the entire game. If the brother said that Rashard Mendenhall should have zigged, she would reply, "Fuck that, boy shoulda' zagged." Lastly, she stormed out of the apartment after the Steelers lost. Nobody wanted to go to the bar and do shots after the loss, and that made her quite upset. Did I mention this woman plays women's professional football for the Pittsburgh Passion?

~ Yes, I just generalized the entire city of Pittsburgh by the actions of one woman. However, is it just me or are a lot of people pointing fingers for the loss? Bad play calling. Bad quarterback. Bad secondary. Where was Troy? Where was Harrison? I, for one, think the Steelers had a great season; one that they should be commended on. I will now turn my attentions to the Penguins, Pitt basketball, and St. Patrick's Day.

~ I really feel bad for actress Danielle Fishel. You may remember her from films such as Dorm Daze, Game Box 1.0, and the ever popular Dorm Daze 2. Myself, I remember her as Topanga Lawrence from the hit ABC comedy "Boy Meets World." When I was younger, I had never seen such a beautiful woman before that show aired. I remember spending my Friday nights at the Crowley household watching TGIF, just hoping that I'd get to see my Topanga. I knee I wanted a woman that was as beautiful and understanding as Topanga was with Corey Matthews and his crazy hi jinx. Anyways... I watched a re-run of "Boy Meets World" Wednesday morning, and I noticed that Topanga had a chubby face and chubby arms, and then I began to become concerned about Danielle Fishel's weight. I checked the Internet Movie Database to see if she was still acting, but it seems that she hasn't appeared in a movie or a straight-to-video release since 2007. I hope it's not because of weight-issues. Hollywood can be such a cruel mistress.

~ Speaking of "Boy Meets World," what's wrong with America's parents. When I was thirteen, I watched shows like "Boy Meets World" and "Sabrina the Teenage Witch." My students watch trash such as "The Jersey Shore" and some show called "Skins." Most of you probably know what "The Jersey Shore" is, but if you've never watch "Skins" and are curious to see what all the fuss is about, let me stop you dead in your tracks and say that you're a pedophile for even having a spark of interest. All I will say is that MTV has finally tapped the needed market for teenage softcore porn. Kudos, Music Television.

~ I am still amazed by music. I was really bored for a while, but my interests have been peaked as of late. Along with old friends, I've discovered a few new bands and have started a new genre of music: Back Porch Music. Back Porch Music is music that you can listen to on a warm summer's night on your back porch. It is ideal with candles, a sunset, a slight breeze, and your favorite alcoholic beverage. Some of my favorite back porch musicians and bands are Band of Horses, Okkervil River, The Avett Brothers, Gillian Welch, and the Decemberists (their new album is tops). Back porch music makes me yearn for summer. Anyone up for a camp trip the first nice weekend in April?

~ I'm not too keen on drinking anymore. I'd much rather sip on a beer and chat with friends than go to the club and pound Red Bull and vodkas. But I must admit, I am a tremendous dancer.

~ Kids simply do not want to work anymore. They expect everything handed to them at all times, no questions asked. They expect not to have to do the work, but still get the same results as their peers that do put forth at least the minimal effort. Any time a kid (or parent) complains to me about their grades, status in my class, or playing time on my teams, I simply tell them to work harder to get what they want. They don't like to hear this, but they need to from time to time.

~ Enough for now...it's t-shirt time!

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